


Refrain

by mimosaeyes



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Missing Scene, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 16:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17984651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimosaeyes/pseuds/mimosaeyes
Summary: In which Callum and Rayla actually talk about the dark magic thing. Or rather, they talk around it.Set in 2x09, before they reach the border.





	Refrain

**Author's Note:**

> Mood lyrics from Believe by Mumford & Sons: “I don’t even know if I believe / everything you’re trying to say to me / … say something, say something / something like you love me”.

Not long after they leave the cave, Zym begins wriggling and softly whining in Callum’s arms. Rayla, walking a couple paces ahead, hears the footfalls from her right falter, and turns around to see Zym clambering up so he’s half-leaning on Callum’s shoulder, while Callum adjusts the position of his hands to support the baby dragon. Perched to stare longingly in the direction Ezran went, Zym makes a pitiful cooing sound and snuggles closer to Callum.  

Callum’s obviously still tired from his delirium and near-death (but Rayla isn’t thinking about that), yet he finds the strength to comfort Zym. “I know, I know. But it’s okay,” he murmurs, patting him gently. The darkening evening brings out the shadows lingering around Callum’s eyes.

Rayla feels her poker face soften. The words slip out despite herself. “Are _you_ okay? You’re still a bit peaky lookin’.”

Callum looks askance and resumes walking slowly. “I’m fine,” he says. He doesn’t say it rudely. But his body language is more closed off than it’s ever been around her. 

From his spot on Callum’s shoulder, Zym cocks his head and yips at Rayla. She’s no Ezran when it comes to understanding animals, but Zym almost seems to be encouraging her not to let the issue drop.

She scoffs quietly. As if it’s her job to find out why the sad prince is sad this time. She’s been plenty patient with him already, sitting vigil by his side, dabbing at his forehead with a cool cloth, holding him when he —

Nope. Not thinking about it.

The path they’re taking suddenly veers up a slope, one that Rayla knows will take them to the canyon leading to the Moonstone Path. Rayla hums to herself, glancing up at the crescent moon in the sky. They’re making good time. Plus, she welcomes the physical exertion; it’s just what she needs to discipline her thoughts. 

He should thank his stars, she muses as she climbs, that she hasn’t followed through on her threat to kill him if he died on her. And what’s with this macho act out of nowhere? He’s not fooling anyone, the dummy.

The more she grouses at Callum in her head, though, the more Zym blinks at her with his wide eyes, and the less sure she is that she means any of it.

Ugh. A Moonshadow elf doesn’t show fear, especially not for a dark mage. (Even if he’s unconscious, and shaking, and too pale…) A Moonshadow assassin doesn’t allow any room for ambiguity. Yet here she is, second-guessing herself and getting silently called out by a dragon princeling for having caught feelings from two humans. And after travelling with them for only a fortnight! This realisation makes Rayla pull a face at Zym.

The ground begins to level out again. Callum pauses and turns slightly toward her.

“Let’s catch our breath?” Rayla offers, then notices Callum’s expression. His eyebrows are drawn together as if in pain, and there’s something vulnerable in the set of his jaw.

“Callum?” she says hesitantly. Then her ears droop as she realises: “You’re not fine, are you?”

“What?” Callum does a double take. “No. I mean, I’m kind of tired, but it’s not that.”

She would never admit out loud to feeling a surge of relief just then.

“Okay…” Rayla drags out the word expectantly. Zym tilts his head to look at Callum too.

Callum seems to struggle with his next words. Finally, still staring at the ground, he says, “Aren’t you going to, I don’t know, yell at me?”

Her brow furrows and she steps forward, about to touch his shoulder. (The way she had when they were flying above the clouds on Phoe-Phoe, and when he came back out of that storm.) But Callum bites his lip, shaking his head and stepping back, away from her.

“I used dark magic, Rayla. I thought you’d be mad at me. You _should_ be mad at me.”

Rayla pulls back her hand and folds her arms across her chest instead. She doesn’t know how to respond to the deep guilt running through Callum’s words. So she chickens out and tries for levity. “You were pretty out of it at the time, but trust me, I’ve done a fair bit of yellin’ at you already.” 

“You did?” Callum glances up at her for the first time since they’ve stopped walking. “I wasn’t sure if… There were a lot of things racing through my head.”

Well, at least now she knows that while he was delirious he didn’t fully register anything she might have said, or nearly said (fine, she’s thinking about it now).

But then he drops his gaze back to the ground. “I still feel like I owe you an apology.”

Rayla takes a deep breath and unfolds her arms. She tries to sound firm, although it comes out a little closer to fond. “Alright, look at me and listen closely, you big dumb human, because I’m not one for heartfelt speeches. If you owe me an apology, I owe you thanks. Without you, that dragon wouldn’t be free right now. And I… might not have been able to leave her.” 

_It doesn’t matter what happens to me. Live or die, this dragon goes home_ , she remembers vowing to herself.

For what she just admitted, Callum’s gaze is steady, if sad. “I can’t accept your thanks. Not for doing... that. But— yes. I know, I could tell, that you were determined to protect her.”  

He pauses for a beat too long before adding quietly, “No matter what.”

She must be imagining his grim tone, his resigned helplessness. Yet under his words she seems to hear what he was actually thinking when he came after her.

_It doesn’t matter what happens to me. What I have to do._

Oh.

He did it for her.

But surely not. No, he did it to break the cycle of violence between humans and Xadia. He did it to spare that dragon whatever horrible things Claudia would have done with its body parts. Or he did it because he was desperate to be a mage again, he was tired of feeling powerless — but as soon as that last thought crosses Rayla’s mind, she dismisses it, with a feeling like she’s betrayed Callum by even briefly entertaining it. 

There is one thing she’s been wondering about though, in the midst of her natural revulsion at him doing dark magic. The thing is this: she didn’t know about the chains until she was there in the thick of it. Neither of them saw the human troops securing the dragon with metal. So Callum couldn’t have known that the spell he needed was one he had seen performed before; he couldn’t have known that it would be up to him to free the dragon.

Callum came back to the clearing knowing only that she would give up everything to rescue that dragon — she all but said so with her parting words about him and Ezran getting Zym the rest of the way to Xadia — and he would not let that happen.  _It doesn’t matter what happens to me. What I have to do._

She’s been silent for too long, her thoughts reeling. Callum touches her shoulder tentatively, trying to get her attention. “Rayla. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says automatically, absently. “I just…”

What he did nearly killed him and it’s still, metaphorically, killing him. But even though his eyes are shadowed with guilt, they are also bright and soft with concern for her. Concern or something deeper, something frighteningly like loyalty, and devotion. That scares her in a whole new way than the sight and sound of him gasping for breath back in that cave.

“I can’t accept your apology,” Rayla blurts out.

Zym has been quiet up to this point, but now lets out a distressed yip.

“Oh.” Callum’s shoulders slump. “That’s fair, I guess.”

Rayla’s eyes widen in alarm. “No, wait, that’s not what I mean. I…”

She huffs, at a loss for words, then tries another track. “You know I’d do anything to protect you, right? And Ezran, and Zym,” she adds hurriedly.

Callum is watching her with a mixture of confusion and fondness. “I know,” he says softly. “You’ve done so much already. You’re always jumping between us and danger, ready to slish and slash until it goes away. But what does that have to do with…?” 

Oh, why can’t she say what she means?

“I won’t apologise for that,” Rayla tells him. “Even — even if I did something unforgivable because of it.” _I won’t apologise for caring about you, even if it scares me how much I do. You shouldn’t either._

Because he must know that she cannot absolve him of his guilt with her forgiveness. Because if he’s hypocritical for criticising dark magic and then using it himself, she’d be hypocritical for accepting his apology when she doesn’t know what lengths she would have gone to, had the situation been reversed.

“I’m not sure I understand,” Callum says slowly, frowning. “Or maybe I do. I think I might, but…”

For a second, he looks at her with an expression of wonderment, doubting yet faintly hoping that she means what he thinks she means. And for a second, Rayla lets herself imagine what would happen if she just said it, if she finished her sentence now and spoke out loud what comes after _Callum, I — I…_  

Callum opens his mouth and starts to say, “Rayla, I…”

In the same instant, she says, “Come on,” and gives him a little smile. “We’ve caught our breath. Let’s keep moving.” 

She takes his hand and pulls him along. It’s casual, and easy, and she doesn’t know when that happened. 

After a moment, he smiles back at her, and it’s only a little sad. “Okay. As long as everything’s good with you.” 

“Trust me. We’re fine.”

Callum squeezes her hand reassuringly, anyway.

Under the light of the crescent moon, their fingers almost interlace; her four fingers would perfectly fit the spaces between his five (but Rayla isn’t thinking about that).

**Author's Note:**

> So unsatisfying but there you go *jazz hands* More detailed process notes in my [tumblr link post](http://mimosaeyes.tumblr.com/post/183188463022/refrain-mimosaeyes-the-dragon-prince-cartoon).
> 
> Been a while since I’ve had a one-word title. I mean “refrain” as both a verb (to abstain from an impulse to do/say something) and a noun (a recurring phrase). I hope I wasn’t too heavy-handed about either aspect.


End file.
